I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
