so let's talk penis.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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