I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
