Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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