You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
this boner is exhausting
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize