i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
