bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
There was a lot of him and a little penis
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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