have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
