I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Randomize
