ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it was like eating out sand paper
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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