dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize