Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
