this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
