How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize