He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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