I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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