I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
