weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
