it hurts more in the daytime
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She bit a glass in half.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Enjoy the penises
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
