Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
