Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Houston, we have a blender
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I am available for nakedness
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize