Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
