after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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