How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
