i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize