Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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