Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She needs sedatives and a leash
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
