Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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