...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
