i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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