No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
