If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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