i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
