Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
