the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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