a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
