it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
