I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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