I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
