Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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