Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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