Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
