you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
