Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
