You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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