my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
