Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
