I'm gonna have a badass scar
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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