And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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