once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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