No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
