the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
