HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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