Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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