WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
how does that bad decision feel?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize