He disabled his match.com account in front of me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
