whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize