We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
