I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
