just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
