Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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