I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
