i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
