I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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