1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
