ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
