well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm getting married
To pizza
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
